The Parameters of Ghosts
by toluene
Summary: Light Yagami has defeated L. Everything is proceeding according to plan, until one night, the deceased detective reappears. Why does L continue to haunt him?
1. Deletion

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note and I never will.

* * *

Chapter 1: Deletion

_"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,_  
_Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit_  
_Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,_  
_Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it."_

― Edward FitzGerald

A lie was always easier to pull off when there was some amount of truth at the base of it. That was why Light Yagami permitted himself an expression of shock as the remaining life in the detective's eyes diminished; his eyes now permanently closed.

The shock was true on some level, yes. He had been waiting for this moment for ages, and some part of him had begun to think it would never happen. On a still more distant level, the part of him that had formerly worked with L to capture Kira, unaware of the death note and his real ambitions—the part he had used simply as a tool to defeat L and regain his rightful place as Kira—also felt shock at the loss of a friend. Light didn't acknowledge that part of himself, though. To him it was as good as dead the moment he grabbed the notebook back from L.

But he had planned meticulously, and L's death came as no surprise to him. Light had cleverly manipulated the settings and beings around him to produce this very outcome, and Rem had played her part nicely. It looked as if she had even thought to kill Watari, which was better than he had expected of her. And soon, now, the real God of this world would reign freely again.

Because right here, at this very moment, L was dead.

"Ryuzaki!...Ryuzaki!" Light shook L's shoulders. He had to admit, it was strange knowing someone had just died in his arms. That it had been L, of all people.

"What's going on!?" someone shouted. Panic had finally rooted itself in the others.

Thinking it was an appropriate time to do so, Light let out a loud cry, inwardly pleased at how convincing it sounded. "First Watari, then Ryuzaki... we're going to be next!" It wasn't hard for Light to keep his voice unsteady; the growing excitement he felt gave his voice the same quality that fear would. To the others it would look as if Light was alarmed at the apparent death of L, and worried now about the uncertain outcome of their own lives.

The room was bathed in an unsettling red glow, and 'ALL DATA DELETED' was displayed on all of the computer screens. The team braced for their seemingly imminent demise. Aizawa had at some point fallen onto the floor, and Matsuda had covered his head as if it would protect him from death; but they were all staring in shared horror at L's lifeless body.

Inexplicably—after a several minutes of agonizing length—they were still alive.

Mogi was the first to say anything, stumbling a little over his words. "W-we should get an ambulance."

"...What about a family member?"

Soichiro spoke then, managing to keep his voice calm though he was clearly very distressed. "I'll take him."

They all agreed in silence.

* * *

The rest of the team waited at the headquarters for Soichiro to return from the hospital. It had been two hours, and no one had spoken more than a sentence or two. All of them, besides Light, were wondering why they had been spared. Why had Kira, or whoever it was, not deemed their existence a threat, too? Or was it only a matter of time before they were disposed of? While they reflected over this, Light was thinking his own thoughts, inwardly pleased at how everything was turning out.

The grin that Light had shown L seconds before his death—surely the most unconcealed face Light had ever let him see—remained as excitement smoldering in the pit of his stomach; obscured, as all important things were, to the rest of the team.

The only one who had posed any danger, and indeed almost succeeded at defeating him on a few occasions, was thanks to Rem, no longer a threat. In comparison, Aizawa, Matsuda, Mogi, and his father were going to be exceedingly easy to control.

_He had…_

_...he had won! _The thought repeated in his head. The feeling of triumph was intoxicating, and Light savored every second of it. His dream of a new world would be so much easier to accomplish from here on out. He doubted that anyone else who objected Kira's method of judgment would put up as tough of a battle as L had. Things were finally going to get easier now, with L gone.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the elevator doors sliding open. His father entered, fists held at his sides. The grave expression on his face implied only one answer.

"Ryuzaki is dead."

Silence.

Light pounded his fists on the glass table in front of him, startling everyone else in the room. "Damn it!" he cursed, and stood up, fuming, and stormed past his father. "Damn _shinigami_, where are you? You must know something about this!"

Light had seen Rem leave through the wall into the adjacent room, and figured that was probably where she had stayed hidden to write down the names. He opened up the room with the card key, and noticed right away what looked like a pile of sand on the tiled floor with a death note half-buried in it.

Rem's death note. He needed to hide it before the others could see. Again, he was glad Rem had thought about this; since the room was never used the security cameras hadn't been turned on. She had been much smarter than Ryuk, in some ways. But caring for Misa, a human, had been foolish and had led to her undoing.

He quickly lifted the notebook from the pile, the sandy substance falling off from it. _Good_, now that he had Rem's note he didn't even need to use the original one. He stuffed it away, and then called out to the others. Before long they were all surrounding the anomalous pile on the floor.

"What is this? Sand?"

"The_ shinigami_...?"

Light's head was turned downwards, his features shadowed by the artificial light above them. "Whatever happened here," Light began, "Whether it was a _shinigami_, Kira, or someone else who did this, I will avenge Ryuzaki's death. We must solve this case, not only for him and Watari, but for all the victims. For everyone who has been affected."

His father placed a hand on his shoulder—proud as ever of his son's dedication, but just as equally concerned for his well-being.

"Light…"

Matsuda looked up from the pile, his face appearing even more conflicted than it had already been. "But if we do that, then we'll be killed too! Isn't this a warning to us?"

"No, Light is right," Aizawa declared, unwavering. "We've already chosen to put our lives at risk. We can't back out now."

* * *

It was dark out, the first night after L's death. Light stood atop of the building of the investigation headquarters. Earlier that day, though it seemed so far away now, L had stood on the same roof listening to imaginary bells playing in the downpour. The rain had cleared out since then, but heavy clouds continued to roll past, illuminated by the moon above them and by the city below.

It was cool out, but Light ignored the chill he felt as he looked out at the vast city surrounding him. Gusts of wind whipped at him, sending his hair in every direction. Ryuk sat perched behind Light, watching the sky. Because they had switched the notebooks, Misa was technically the human he was attached to now, but he had wandered from her temporarily in order to speak with Light.

Light's expression was contemplative as he watched the city. He thought about how odd L had acted up here, before his death. He had seemed… sad, somehow. Almost as if in some way he had been expecting his death soon; had realized defeat but would never surrender. L would have been too stubborn to do that.

The two fake death note rules had eliminated L's advantage, turning the tables on him and clearing Misa and Light from guilt long enough for Light to make his final, crucial move against him. The length of time it had taken to find Higuchi had given his memory-less self time to make L and the others trust him, and even if he was never trusted completely, it had been enough to make L slip and let Light get a hold of the death note. That had been his fatal mistake. Not that L had had any way of knowing about the ownership of death notes.

It might not have been fair, but the best battles were never fought fairly, and Light assured himself that L deserved to lose. He had been asking for it from the start by challenging a God who would punish all those who defied him. L's sense of justice had been wrong, and in the new world Kira's righteous way of judgment would prevail.

Nonetheless, it was strange knowing that L was really gone. It still amazed Light, sometimes, how easy it was to kill. How the simple stopping of a heart was enough to end a human life. The simple writing of a name.

How long had it felt for L, to die?

In his final moments L's eyes had focused on his; as if searching for an answer from Light. And Light had given one to him. His unmasked grin had said it all. Light was Kira. L's instinct hadn't been wrong, but in spite of that he had lost, and would never get a chance to know the results of Kira's reign.

But there was one thing that still bothered Light. He had been somewhat curious to see what L's true name was—even though it really didn't matter to know it any longer. But when he had finally gotten a chance to look at Rem's notebook, there had been no names at all to be found in it. Not even a stray mark of ink.

"Ryuk," Light said suddenly. "Why aren't there any names written in Rem's death note, when she has clearly used it?"

"Eh?" He looked down from the sky to Light, apparently surprised by the question. "Oh, well I haven't exactly been around many _shinigami _when they die, but I think that when it does happen, all of the names that the _shinigami_ had previously written down disappear from the notebook." A claw rose to his irregular chin, and he added as an afterthought, "All of the humans remain dead, of course."

Light had figured as much, but it still bothered him a little that he couldn't know L's true identity. And Watari had managed to get rid of all the information pertaining to him before dying... He still knew nothing relevant about the man behind the enigma known as L. And now he probably never would.

"So Light, L is really finished? Won't it be boring around here now?" There was a glint in Ryuk's eye now, a look of private amusement. It always gave him a kick to remind Light that he could write Light's name in his own death note at any time. Light had for the most part learned to ignore him when he got that way.

"No, not at all," Light answered, still focusing on the city before him. "There's so much left to do. Now that L is finally gone, I can show you the creation of a new world." He turned towards Ryuk, revealing a glint in his own eyes; the expression he often wore when overcome with righteousness and ambition. "Besides, there are a lot of people out there who remain against Kira. I'm sure there will be more battles for you to witness."

Ryuk chuckled in his bizarre laughter. "To tell you the truth, I'm kinda glad to be back in the human world. Apples in the _shinigami_ realm taste even more terrible now that I've gotten used to the ones here."

* * *

As Light was drifting off towards sleep, he realized that there was something missing from this usual routine. Something he hadn't given much thought to yet, but its absence had become only too apparent now.

The feeling of being watched.

No longer would he have to be aware of L constantly analyzing him, dissecting his every movement, and watching through the cameras. No longer would he have to pretend not to notice L's sharp and cutting gaze as he played the part of an innocent suspect. No longer would he need to worry about making even the slightest error in front of the meticulous, ever-observant detective.

He rolled over to his side, and let out a sigh; out of weariness, perhaps, or relief.

No longer...

The intense high he'd felt today had processed into something else and left behind an unfamiliar sense of absence, one that he couldn't quite place. L's death... it had seemed so perfect before, but right now it felt inadequate, somehow. It was as if by putting so much time and effort into defeating L, directing all his energy towards it, he could never feel completely satisfied once it was finally achieved. All the effort that had been put forth for something that had been so easy to do, in the end.

"_Won't it be boring now?"_ Ryuk had said.

Light turned over again. He remained awake for some time, though he was exhausted from the days events. Darkness had a strange ability to expose insecurities that at all other times seemed foolish. He hated to admit it, but perhaps it was because had become too used to the feeling of being watched. Maybe in the days with his memories gone, he had even confused being watched with being watched over, and that's why it felt so uncomfortable now.

But what did he have to be afraid of? He had no fear of demons hiding in shadows (he was only too accustomed to one of those). No, it wasn't even fear, exactly. Maybe it was the comprehension that with L gone—the only one who had thought on his level, who had in some way understood him even through all the layers of disguise—he was now truly alone in this.

But that was a small price to pay for being a God.

* * *

A/N:

(2009): I was planning on writing half of the chapters to this story before posting the first one, since I basically already have an idea for how this is going to play out, but sometimes (as in a lot of the time) my motivation is lacking, so I decided to post the first chapter now. If people seem to like it, then it will hopefully force me to keep going. So please write a review if you enjoyed it or if you want to see more. Criticisms are fine too, of course (tell it like it is).

I know that this starts off very similar to the manga and anime, and so will much of the next chapter, but trust me it will change a lot! Think of it as a somewhat inaccurate recap?

Oh, and there will probably be about 10 chapters total, but who knows I might really get into it and write more. I hope I do a good job with this… it's just hard for me since I'm not used to writing so much. Reading is so much easier!

(2013 update): Decided to finally finish this story! It will now be around 13 chapters in length.


	2. Restitution

Chapter 2: Restitution

_"Thought I saw blood turn to wine_  
_A vision from the angel wars_  
_Didn't think I'd find the Saviour in the dark"_

― _Dead Heaven_

Over a week had passed since the deaths of L and Watari had occurred. It couldn't be said if the days went quickly or dragged on; it was a little of both. A lot needed to be done, and obligatory formalities were dealt with—namely L's funeral.

It had been small, of course, hardly to be called a funeral at that. Excluding the task force, no one was even aware that it took place. For their own safety, only they could know who rested underneath that grave.

The sunset had radiated with burning red and gold hues, smoldering the graveyard in colors too warm for the ordinarily dismal area. They had all stood around the carved stone marking L's final resting place, and solemnly paid their last respects, promising L they would avenge him and bring Kira to justice. Afterwards, Light had remained a moment by himself, externally sullen. Internally, Kira had rejoiced.

Needless to say, they were all glad to get such matters over with. No one liked to be reminded of their mortality, and they had witnessed that even the world's greatest detective was not excluded from this irreversible event. Death was cold and indifferent—it would always treat a living thing like any another, whether it was bird or ant or human. As long as life existed, death was its inevitable companion.

Death was only natural, but humans would always try to fight against it, and seek to prolong its arrival. Or at least ignore it, if they could.

* * *

The investigation headquarters was as of yet unchanged, but a growing weariness hung over them in the overly expansive building.

The question remained, what was to be done next?

Light, with his aptitude for computers, had managed to recover most of the system that had been lost, and had figured out how to construct the scrambled voice that L used. With those problems solved, it looked as if they could go on with the idea of pretending that L was still running the investigation. It was the only choice they had if they wanted to capture Kira, because if the NPA found out L was dead—murdered, to be exact—then there was no possibility that the investigation would be allowed to continue, as small as it already was.

As for who would be taking over L's position, there was no question about it. The team agreed unanimously that only Light could take L's place.

Light pretended hesitation at their request, but when they weren't looking, a brief smile had passed over his face. _Easy, as usual. No more bothersome setbacks with L gone_.

A few suggestions here and there and he'd convinced them where instead to run the investigation; in an apartment that Light would rent. He was old enough to move out now, he explained, and it would be easier there to take over L and Watari's roles if he was away from the distractions of the rest of his family.

* * *

It didn't take long to find a place, a rather expansive two-story apartment—relatively secluded, as far as apartments went—and everything had been moved in and organized. The monitors and equipment were set up on the second floor, where headquarters would now be, leaving the downstairs for living purposes: two bedrooms, the kitchen, living room, and bathroom. All in all, it looked to be the perfect place to continue the pursuit of Kira—or, for Light, the perfect place to carry on with his responsibilities as Kira.

Currently, Light was standing near the window in the living room, with Misa by him. It had been storming on and off all day, but that didn't stop Misa from being in a good mood.

"Yay, Light! I'm so happy we are living together!" she squealed in excitement.

Light was silent, looking at the unfamiliar scenery outside. He could tell the sun was setting only by the fact that while the storm hadn't grown any stronger, the sky was steadily getting darker.

"…But," she went on, staring up at him with a pout, "why can't we share the same room, Light?"

"Misa, it wouldn't be right for us to share the same room until after we're married." He watched as small water droplets formed and slid down the glass.

"Wha…?" Misa, at the mention of matrimony, stared in wonder at Light. "So we're going to get married?" Her shining eyes anticipated his answer.

"Yeah, when the time is right." He kept the answer purposely vague.

"Yay!" The ever-stylish idol squealed as she embraced Light tightly. It was mostly a one-sided embrace, but she was used to those with him. "Misa and Light will be married!" In the background, Ryuk chuckled. After a moment she straightened up and furrowed her eyes in determination. "Don't worry, I can wait to share a room with Light until then. Misa is patient." She grinned charmingly.

Light nodded vaguely in response, not taking his focus away from the window. He had better things on his mind.

The rest of the task force had left for the day. They were all taking a break after getting everything moved into the new headquarters, but they took these as little as possible. For them, Kira was still very much a threat to the world, and every day was crucial. They had tell themselves that there would be a day when he could be stopped once and for all, that it was only a matter of _when _it would happen and not _if_. Because if they never caught Kira… Well, they would never start thinking like that. As long as they were all here they would continue to pursue him. They couldn't afford to give up hope.

_Not yet, anyway_, thought Light.

But it wasn't any concern to him whether they chose to continue or not. He could lead them in circles until their feet wore down to bone, and they wouldn't be any closer to catching him. And if they did manage to find some reason for suspicion, as L had, he could get rid of them, too. His father, even, if it came to that, would be worth eliminating. Light had decided long ago that in order to reach his goal he would need to be able to sacrifice anything and anyone that tried to stop him. It was the only way, if he was to make the world a better place, and be its great protector. And if all went well, he wouldn't have to resort to anything like killing his own family.

If things continued to go as planned, then eventually, maybe years from now, he would be able to reveal himself to his father without any fear of being condemned by him. Who knows, maybe he would be proud of Light once he finally understood. It was always a possibility, and the same went for the other investigation members. Even now, Light thought, Matsuda showed signs of agreeing with Kira on certain things.

Ideally, it was only a matter of time before they would resign to Kira's way of justice. Until then, Light would have to keep his identity hidden from them, which wouldn't be difficult. He had been given the option to eliminate the waste of humankind, to become an ultimate protector of civilization against itself, with virtually no way for his actions to be traced back to him. No one knew who he was, or even what he was, but everyone knew he existed. And already, many worshiped him for his actions.

Light never regretted picking up that strange black notebook that had fallen from the sky that day. Out of everyone existing on the planet, it had been _he _who found the death note. It was he who would shape the world with it. The circumstances leading up to this point were such that if there were really were other gods besides the _shinigami_, they were on his side. And if it was all just due to luck, well it didn't matter. He was grateful either way.

He had been given a means to correct the world, and he wouldn't let anyone stop him.

* * *

Light awoke with the feeling that something wasn't quite right. He shifted over to his other side, moving tangle of covers away in order to see the time.

2:00 a.m. He sighed, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. But as he brought his hand back from his face, something pale caught the corner of his vision, and as he turned to look at it he froze.

Because there, sitting on a chair several feet away from him, was L.

As Light's eyes focused on the sight before him, he saw that L was staring back at him, his eyes unmistakably dark and knowing. Faint city light streamed through the window, illuminating the room with dim hues, and L's form seemed to faintly glow in it.

_No, _he laughed to himself, _this __wasn't real_. This had to be a dream, or a persistent remnant of one. He closed his eyes, and tried to shut out the images of the former detective—his unkempt hair, strange sitting posture, his toes clenching and unclenching as an interesting, or perhaps dangerous, thought occupied his mind.

_His dark, sleep-deprived eyes. Staring. Knowing. _

A horrible unease began to creep over Light that it wasn't just a dream. Despite how irrational it was to think that L would be here in his room, Light could finally bear it no longer and opened his eyes again to prove once and for all that he had just been imagining things, and that the ominous dread he felt was unfounded.

2:04 a.m. L was still watching him.

Light's eyes widened in alarm. L was still there, there was no denying it. Was he really dreaming, then? It felt nothing at all like one, but it was the only way he could explain it.

Hesitantly, Light sat up, and then—with even more hesitance—he spoke to the phantom visitor.

"L…?" It was barely a whisper, but it cut clear through the silence of the room. There was no reply, but he thought he saw L's eyes flicker. Or was he just imagining that, too? "L," he began again, contrary to the sanity in him, "…why are you here?"

To Light's astonishment, L responded.

"You know the reason why, Light Yagami." An unnatural grin spread across his face. "I'm here to haunt you."

* * *

A/N: Next chapter will be up soon. Ugh I don't really like writing Misa… I'll leave her out as much as I can.


	3. Instigator

Chapter 3: Instigator

"_But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,  
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.  
Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—  
Till I scarcely more than muttered 'Other friends have flown before—  
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.'  
Then the bird said, 'Nevermore.'"_

* * *

This couldn't be happening.

_L__ was dead. L was nothing._

And L had just spoken to him.

It was one thing to vividly hallucinate seeing something, but to hear it speak at the same time as well? Light was only human, whether he liked it or not, but he felt reasonably secure in the fact that he was not going insane. He took a slow breath, and forced himself to try to think clearly about this.

Light had heard stories before about people losing someone they knew well, such as a parent or sibling or a spouse. It wasn't all that uncommon for them to report seeing the deceased person, or even hearing them speak, afterward. Their minds were so accustomed to the person's presence that they would unwillingly invent their own images of the person who had died. Light had been forced to be around L for so long that maybe it wasn't surprising that this was happening. It could just be his mind inventing it all; like a phantom limb, creating sensations that were no longer there.

If this was an illusion, it wouldn't last long.

"You can't be here right now. You're _dead_." Light had watched it happen, watched as one of the very processes that kept L alive had ultimately betrayed him. Every heartbeat was one tick closer to death; the death note had only shortened that process.

"Clearly," L replied, in a manner not far from amusement. He lifted his hands from his knees, inspecting them as if he was checking to be sure they were still there, then moved them back. As far as Light could tell, he looked normal, though his pallid skin gave off an eerie phosphorescence in the darkness of the room.

"Honestly, I'm just as surprised as you are." L placed a finger on his lower lip, his eyes drifting upward in thought, as he had done so often when alive. "This is all so confusing for me. It's not every day that I get die." He stared pointedly at Light. "I was joking when I said I'm haunting you, but perhaps that's what this is. Maybe I really am a ghost."

"A ghost?" Light considered this idea. He generally wasn't one for believing in the supernatural, and he had incorporated into his thinking as logically as he could the existence of _shinigami_. Was it so far a jump to include ghosts, too?

"I suppose that could make sense, if you're not just part of my mind. It would explain what you are, but not _why _you are." He smirked slightly and added, "The typical unfinished business preventing you from a peaceful afterlife?" _Here to haunt the human __that__ did wrong to you?_

"No, to the second part of what you said anyway. I don't believe in the afterlife, so whatever this is, it must be temporary."

Light stared in disbelief at L. How could he say that after just arguing that he might be a ghost, and was therefore existing _after _death?

Though that wasn't far from Light's own beliefs, as well. Maybe the only permanence after death _was _nothingness, and anything else was just an abnormality. Light had always mistrusted the idea of heaven and hell, to him creations that humans made up for comfort when they saw no justice in the world. He had no need for false reassurances when he could hold the real thing; when he could control justice—and better yet, _become _Justice—with the simple sweep of his hand. If there was no heaven he could create one, on the very world that he would then call his own.

"It's odd," L broke off his thoughts, "but I only seem to be aware of myself at random, such as now. And when I am conscious, if that's what you call it, I can't control where I'll appear." He seemed to be trying to make sense of this as much as Light was.

"You've appeared before this?" Light asked.

"Twice. Once at headquarters, once by my grave. You were there both times."

A troubled look formed across Light's features. What did all this mean? This was going on for too long for it to just be an illusion... Light hoped for his own sake that it was all just a dream.

"Don't worry, Ryuzaki. We can solve this, for whatever reason it's happening. Even if it turns out I am just imagining this, which is likely the case." He reflexively answered in the tone he used so often with the others; not thinking about how his innocent-from-blame charade would apply no longer with the detective. Surely enough, L picked up on the pretense.

"By the way, Light, I don't think there's any need for show with me anymore. There's no doubt that you're Kira."

And then Light saw it in L's face—the look that he somehow had won; a childlike smugness at being right. A surge of anger welled up in him, but he felt a nervous excitement too, for the fact that his greatest rival would now know the truth about him.

But... he also _wanted _L to know who he was. He had spent so much time keeping his identity to himself (besides the _shinigami_ and Misa, but they were irrelevant), and to tell the truth to the one who had been his most dangerous adversary _without _being in mortal danger for it might be... refreshing, in a way.

"Fine," Light agreed coolly.

L's eyes widened a fraction, as if he hadn't expected Light to admit his guilt so easily.

"…But don't call me Kira. I didn't decide on that name in the first place."

L quickly recovered from his surprise. "What would you prefer?"—_God?_—"There are dozens of names to call people like you, and they all suffice."

"_I'm not a __mur__-,_" he paused, realizing how used he had become to denying L's accusations, and rethought his statement. "I don't like being what I am, but somebody has to do it. No… I'm the _only _one who can do it."

At hearing that, L frowned and narrowed his eyes; childish in a way that only the detective could manage. "Just what the world needs, another egotistical mass murderer."

"Shut up!" Light retorted, removing his mask of calmness. Whether he was alive or dead, real or imaginary, L could really piss him off. It had hardly been ten minutes and already they were at each others throats. "See, this is why I had to get rid of you in the first place. If everyone like you would just understand the sacrifices I've made, understand that they _needed _to be taken…"

"For what, the greater good? How idealistic of you."

"The world _is _changing. Soon it will accept Kira for what he is." Light leaned back, an air of importance growing about him. "The world will be rid of all the pointless violence and wars, and people will finally be able to move forward again. They won't have to be so afraid of each other anymore."

L stared at Light for a moment before responding. If he had just been able to imagine what Kira's thoughts were like before this, then what Light was saying now would finally give him proof to his suspicions about Kira's way of thinking.

"The problem with that is not the goal you speak of, but your means for attaining it. It's all wrong. No one has a privileged perspective in determining who is good and who is evil. You can't decide on punishment using such vague principles. If what Kira does is dispose of garbage, then he might as well write down every human's name."

"Not if I specify the definitions of those 'vague principles', which I have."

"That still doesn't make it anything more than a belief. What makes your opinion better than anyone else's?"

"I have the death note." He was aware of how arrogant he was beginning to sound, but he didn't care. "Besides, anyone else in my place would only use the notebook's power for selfish things like personal gain."

"Ah," L said, as if comprehending. "So you use it instead to ruin the world."

"I'm correcting it!" Light shouted at him. "You of all people should be aware of how vile this world is. I look around and all I see is the human race spiraling downward. I just want to save it."

"I just don't see how that will work with your method. If it's in human nature to be violent and greedy, what you're doing only masks the problem; it doesn't solve it."

"Isn't that all the current justice system is doing? Kira is exceedingly more effective in comparison. "

"Kira is not more effective if what he does—no, what _you _do, is so far outside of the law. The justice system may have its flaws, but at least everyone can agree upon it, or if not, think of ways to improve it. With you, it's either obey your standards or be killed… But in any case, people always find ways to adapt. How long do you think it will take before criminals figure out a way around you?"

"L, there was always a chance that what I chose to do wouldn't work, but I had to do _something. _Even if the risk of failure was great, I had to take it."

The former detective seemed to be thinking, piecing something together.

"Is that what made you kill a second time with the death note, after what I assume was first only curiosity?"

Light closed his eyes, sighing inwardly, and realized how heavy his eyelids were. Anger was too hard to keep up at such a late hour, and they weren't getting anywhere with this conversation.

"This arguing is pointless, L. What can you do against me when you're not even alive anymore?"

"Nothing besides what I am doing." L was good at keeping his expression unreadable when he wanted to, but after all of the time spent next to the detective Light could tell how much it bothered him that he was no longer the one in control. _Good, he deserved it._

The room fell into a long silence. L unexpectedly rose from the chair and moved to the nearest window, not far from the bed. Light watched as he shuffled across the carpet—still distrustful of himself that L was actually here. _Okay, so he didn't seem to be transparent, didn't float across the floor, and definitely still had feet. _If he really was a ghost, he didn't fit the image of one at all. Not that there were any examples to go from besides the cliché of floating, translucent-white forms wailing in creaky old houses at night. Part of him wanted to reach out his hand to see if it would pass through L, but he decided against it. He'd had about all he could handle of anything ghost-related for one night. He just wanted L to leave him alone so he could get some sleep. Or wake up, if he was dreaming.

Through the window, the sky was showing the precursors of the coming day. The clouds had cleared out completely, and a few stars could be spotted in the sky. L was facing away from Light, apparently transfixed by the view outside.

"Do you want to know what it was like for me to die?"

Light gaped at L, not expecting such a question from him. He wasn't sure how to answer.

"It's funny," L continued without waiting for a response, "but my last thought, after the thoughts about me being right that you were Kira, that I wasn't wrong… my last thought wasn't anything to do with the investigation." His voice was softer now, contrasting the detached monotone he so often used. Even standing, he reflexively hunched his stature. "What I remember last was disappointment, because I'd never get to visit my home place again." His head lowered a fraction. "Such a silly thing, but I guess things like that seem important when you're at your end."

"L…" He was still in surprise at the sudden change in the detective. "Look, I really am sorry that you had to die." Was he, really? Sometimes the words came so easily he forgot if they were the truth or not. "But could it have happened any other way? If you had lived, then it would be me in your place right now. You said yourself that Kira would likely receive no less than the death sentence."

Ignoring him, L moved back to the chair and reassumed his sitting position, returning as abruptly as he had left. Not a trace of the strange somberness he had just shown could be read on him.

"I've also said that socks aren't worth the effort."

_...What? _Light sighed, his expression turning to annoyance. "Really, th—"

"Light," he interrupted, "I'm actually not looking to argue with you right now. The truth is that we both dug ourselves in deep, and one of us had to pay for it. Maybe I'm here because the part of me that can't stand losing didn't want to give up, and will only be satisfied by the sight of your downfall."

"Heh… not looking to argue, and yet you say something like that."

"I'm just speculating. It could be something different. It's possible that there isn't any reason for me being here, but… I do feel like I am going to be in this condition for a while longer, until whatever it is that might be keeping me is resolved."

Light stared cautiously at the deceased man. The room went silent again, but after a long moment Light relaxed his shoulders, and let out a small sigh.

"Well if that's the case, let's continue this later," Light said. At that, he stretched and made a show of holding back a yawn. "I'm exhausted." He really was, too. It would be day again soon, and L was distracting him from more important duties. He needed to get some rest and attend to Kira-related matters before his father and the others would arrive.

"…Alright." L looked at him curiously. Light still remembered how difficult it had been when he was first handcuffed to L for the detective to accommodate to Light's normal human requirement of sleep, when the former had subsisted on three hours or less per night.

But he had to ask L one more thing first.

"L…?"

"Yes?"

"How will I know this wasn't just some dream when I wake up? Can't you do something to prove that you really are a ghost, and not just part of my mind?"

"Hmm," L briefly pondered. "Does it matter? Trying to prove my existence to you would be tedious. I don't think it would be worth the effort." He shifted around in the large chair, which was probably not cushioned enough for his tastes. The dead, it seemed, could also feel uncomfortable. "You'll just have to deal with matters of sanity on your own."

"Alright, thanks," Light replied, sarcasm apparent.

"You're welcome."

Light lied back down, but after a minute, he sighed again, still very much aware of the detective's presence.

"You're just going to stay here and watch me sleep? Can't you disappear or something?"

"I've got nowhere else to go. I'm not even sure that I can leave right now. Does it bother you?"

"Whatever. It doesn't matter."

"Goodnight then, Light."

"...See you later, I guess." _Never again would be nice, too, _he added to himself. He turned to his other side so his back was to L, and didn't say anything more.

Despite how tired Light felt, his mind spun in a multitude of thoughts, going through all that had happened. L's appearance like this... he hadn't felt this shocked since the time the _shinigami_ first appeared to him on that night, so many nights ago. Somehow, he concluded to himself, L probably really was here. And somehow, he would have to get rid of him. Ghost or dream, he wouldn't let L distract him from his duties as Kira. Annoyance stirred in him at the thought of the detective still trying to best him, even after being plainly defeated.

But it didn't matter. L couldn't really do anything now in his current state. He was dead, after all, and the world would be a very different place if the dead could actually affect the living. But if this wasn't just his imagination, then maybe Light could actually learn something about the enigma before he left once and for all.

Sure, why not? This could be interesting while it lasted. And no one else would know. As Light drifted towards unconsciousness, he wondered vaguely why he didn't feel more troubled with L being there, why it didn't seem more ominous. Maybe because it was familiar, somehow. Or it really was just a dream.

Whatever reason he decided was soon forgotten as, within moments, he fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

A/N: Wow, dialogue with these two is fun (and challenging). Hope you know where that poem excerpt is from? :)


	4. Witching Hour

A/N: Guess what, guys (if any of you are still there)— I'm back! Four year old fics _can_ still be updated. I didn't think it was possible, but it is! There is hope left in this world.

Anyway, in addition to this new chapter, I did some editing of the previous ones that I posted. The story is going to be a bit different from what I originally intended, but I think it will be more interesting now. Don't worry, I'm gonna finish this story one way or another, even if it ends up being just me that reads it, haha.

* * *

Chapter 4: Witching Hour

_"Mine eyes are made the fools o' th' other senses,_  
_Or else worth all the rest."_

— _Macbeth_

The day passed like any other, at least on the outside. But throughout the day Light was occupied by thoughts of the former evening. Had he really dreamed it? The vivid quality of his memory of it made it difficult to simply put off as a dream, but if it wasn't just in his head, could he accept the other answer?

All the same, Light hadn't been thinking properly last night. If L visited again, he would have to think of some way to test whether he was just dreaming or not. He would find an answer to this, one way or another.

"Is something the matter, Light?" his father asked suddenly, interrupting his thoughts. The rest of the team was at the apartment, and they had been busy testing out all of the equipment. However, Light had been quieter than usual, and Soichiro had picked up on it.

"No, I've jut been thinking," Light gave a nonchalant reply, not clarifying further.

Soichiro gave Light a sympathetic stare. "It'll take some used to, doing all this with L gone, won't it?" he said, misreading his son's behavior.

"...Yeah," Light answered.

"Taking over the role of the world's greatest detective won't be easy," Soichiro said. "But you'll do a great job. You already have been." He placed a reassuring hand on Light's shoulder.

"Thanks, dad. I'll try my best to do what L would."

His father looked at him a moment, as if debating whether or not to say more, but then seemed to make up his mind. "Even if he would never admit it," he began, pausing briefly to decide his next words, "If L could see you now, I know he would be proud of you."

* * *

"Ryuk, do you think its possible for ghosts to exist?" Light asked later, when he had finally gotten a moment alone. He had found the _shinigami_ in the kitchen, picking through the remaining apples. Ryuk had one raised to his mouth, about to eat it, but lowered it when he heard the question.

"Ha, I would never have expected to hear such a question from you, of all people, Light. Why do you ask?"

"It's just a question."

Ryuk thought it over a moment before he spoke. "You probably expect me to say of course not, that people don't go anywhere after they die; they just return to nothingness. And that's true enough. But I can't say for sure what happens in between the period of death and being nothingness," he said, tapping his finger on the apple. "If such things really do exist, though, I can't imagine they'd exist for very long. And I can say, as a _shinigami,_ that I've never seen one. But..." he added, "there are things in this world that even a _shinigami_ might miss."

"Interesting." So Ryuk didn't deny it outright, but didn't seem too quick to confirm it either. "Well, either way, I have a favor to ask. Would you mind keeping an eye on my room for the next few nights?"

"Oh? What for?" Ryuk snickered, like he already expected what the answer would be.

"I thought I saw something very strange last night. I'd like to know if I was just dreaming it or not, if it happens again."

"Been seeing ghosts, then?"

Light hesitated. "Something like that," he answered vaguely, not wanting to reveal too much about what had happened. The more he talked about it, the more he began to believe that it had only been a dream. It was foolish, to ask Ryuk this. But it was too late to take back his request now.

Ryuk laughed again, seeming to find the situation very funny. "Sure, Light. I guess I could do that," he replied, after he had recovered from his short laughing fit. "Can't promise you I'll see anything, though."

"That's fine, Ryuk. Honestly, I hope neither of us do." Light left the kitchen, leaving Ryuk to his apple.

If Ryuk did notice anything of of the ordinary, what would Light do? L, a ghost... he'd never expected a complication like that when using the death note. And even if it wasn't true, would he ever really be free of L's chains?

* * *

That night, Light slept without any disturbances. The next night, however, he awoke inexplicably around 2 a.m.— just as he had when L had first appeared to him. Sure enough, when he glanced at the chair nearby, it was occupied once more.

"You're back."

L was watching him, unblinking. "Yes, it appears that way."

Light sat up, and tried to ignore the grogginess he felt at being woken at such an hour. But what exactly caused him to wake up, in the first place? L was simply sitting there; he hadn't done anything to disturb him. Was L's presence alone really that strong to wake him?

"It would be nice if you could visit when I'm actually awake, instead of having to disturb my sleep schedule."

"Would you rather I visit when others are near?"

"Yeah, because then I'd know you were real if they could see you, too."

"And then I could tell them you were Kira. That would be nice, wouldn't it?" L said, then frowned. "It's too bad I can't control that type of thing..."

Light smiled. "Maybe it's better you can't, then." He suddenly remembered what he had asked Ryuk to do the other day, and he glanced about the room. He didn't see the _shinigami_ anywhere, but he could easily be watching from the shadows.

"What are you looking for?"

Damn. Still as astute as ever. "Just seeing if there aren't any other ghosts that have come to haunt me."

"Is there a _shinigami_ here?"

"No, only a stubborn detective that won't stay dead."

"You're funny, Light," L remarked, but his expression didn't change. He looked away from Light, his thoughts seemingly occupied by something. "I've been wondering what this place is, actually. Why are you here? You haven't left the task force, have you?"

"No, of course I haven't," Light responded, glad L had changed the subject. "The headquarters has just moved."

"Is that so?" L said, still staring away from him.

Did L really want him to say it? "You've already figured this, I'm sure, but... I'm taking over the role of L." Light watched his expression to see if it would change, but L didn't appear to give any sign that he'd heard him. "Everybody agreed on it—that it would be me," Light added, when L didn't respond.

"Of course they did," L finally answered. "That's to be expected. Even if you are Kira, you will no doubt make a wonderful L."

L was accepting this too easily. "...Aren't you mad?" Light asked.

L stared at his knees, his expression calm. "No. I don't deserve that right; I lost. Even when all the evidence was pointing towards you, you still managed to defeat me. For that, I can't be angry. Not at you, anyway."

"I didn't exactly play fair."

"Neither did I. But you know that," L said, looking towards Light. "We had different beliefs, but I admit that it was nice knowing there was someone else out there who thought on my level. I'm glad I was able to fight against you." He held Light's gaze, unwavering. "But I have to wonder, if we could challenge each other again, who would win?"

Why did L bother saying things like that? It didn't matter how it could have happened; Light had won, in the end. However, if it would please L to answer him, then it might make it easier to get information out of him.

Light took a moment to form a response. "Who knows? You put me through some pretty excruciating experiences, L. I still remember the look on my father's face as he held a gun at me." He hesitated a moment. "But you're right, in a way. It was interesting knowing someone like you, even if we had to be enemies."

"We made good enemies," L agreed, smiling.

Light noticed that L had used the word enemy like someone would normally use the word friend. But it was true, wasn't it? Light couldn't have friends, not real ones, and neither could L. But in a way, as enemies, they had understood each other far better than they ever would have as friends. And no one else, be it ally or enemy, would ever understand him like L had. And the same was true for L.

"I've been thinking, L," Light began. "Couldn't you tell me some information that only you would know? Something that I wouldn't be able to come up with if I'm just inventing you in my mind?"

"I've already explained I don't want to do that. I know that I am here, and that's enough."

"But try to look at it from my perspective. Can't you just say one thing, to prove it to me you're real? I'll be able to take this all more seriously if I'm not wondering of it's just a dream all the time."

L hesitated. "I suppose..." He narrowed his brow in concentration, remaining in thought for several moments, before abruptly breaking the silence. "I'm an orphan. Quilsh Wammy—Watari—was the one who took me in and helped raise me."

Light sat up straighter, curious. "You're an orphan? Interesting... but I already know about the Wammy orphanages. I could have invented that on my own. What else?"

L scratched his head briefly, and shifted his legs around uncomfortably. Several minutes passed before L finally spoke again. "I'm no good at this, Light. Revealing secrets like that seems too counter-intuitive to me. Especially with you."

Light pretended to think for a moment. "Well, there is one thing I don't know that would be easy for you to say..." he trailed off, looking at L. But L remained silent, waiting for Light to continue. A brief smile passed across Light's face; it was strange that L hadn't guessed it yet. "Your name."

"My... name?" L asked, perplexed.

"What's the harm in it? It's not like I can use it against you anymore. It wouldn't take more than a second to say it."

"You don't know it yet? The _shinigami_ must have written it down—or do they not even need to write a name to kill?"

Oh, right. L wouldn't know about any of that. "No, they do. But it seems that when they die, all the names disappear from their notebook," Light said.

"The _shinigami_ _died_?" L stared at him in even more confusion.

"Yes. Rem died because she used her notebook in order to save a human, when _shinigami_ exist to take life, not give it."

"They can die from that?" L looked amazed. "So she died to save you?"

"It was more for Misa's sake than mine. Rem was the one who brought the second notebook into the human world."

"...I see." L's eyes were wide in thought.

"So, will you tell me? What is your real name?"

L looked down uncertainly. His mood seemed to darken, after that. It was a long time before he finally answered.

"I don't want to say."

"But..." Light began.

"Even if I did tell you, it wouldn't prove my existence. It's impossible for you to find any information about me with my real name."

"Even so, I'd still like to know it."

L looked up, studying Light with an unreadable expression. "Perhaps another time. You're tired, Light. Get some sleep."

As if L would care whether he was tired or not. Light sighed, but he realized that L was right. He wouldn't be able to stay up very much longer, even if he'd wanted to. Besides, L didn't seem to be in a very responsive mood at the moment, so it was unlikely he'd get him to reveal anything else about himself.

"Alright," he agreed. "Another time."

Light hadn't noticed any sign of Ryuk that night, but hopefully he had just been hiding somewhere in the shadows. _Ryuk, you better not have forgotten, _was his last thought before he drifted to unconsciousness.

* * *

"Morning, Light," Ryuk greeted the next morning as Light left his room. His grin was as unchanging as ever, but his voice carried a hint of amusement to it that caught Light's attention.

"Ryuk..." Light began, but didn't continue until he was certain Misa was still in her room. "Did you do what I asked?"

"Yeah. And I'm glad I did too, because I got to witness something I'd never seen before."

Light's eyes widened. "So you saw...?"

Ryuk chuckled. "I almost missed it, too. It was so boring waiting around all night that I was about to leave to get a snack or play a video game. But just as I was leaving, I heard you say something, and when I turned around I saw..." Ryuk paused then, delaying his next words.

He was having too much fun with this. "Just say it already. What did you see?" Light spoke irritably.

"I saw _you_, Light. You were sitting up on your bed, acting like there was someone else in the room. At first I thought you were talking to me, but I soon realized that wasn't it. You were speaking to someone else, just like you would a _shinigami_. Looked like you'd lost a few marbles, to be honest. Guess now I know what it'd look like to others if they saw you talking to me."

Light's eyes widened. "You're certain you saw no one else?"

"You were the only one I saw."

"So only I can see him, or..." Light trailed off, his brows furrowed in thought.

"Was it really L you were speaking to, Light?" Ryuk asked him curiously.

"I don't know. But this information makes it more unlikely that I'm just dreaming it, unless it's some form of sleepwalking. But if it really is L's ghost, then..." Light's eyes narrowed. "I'll have to find a way to get rid of him."

Ryuk snickered. "Getting rid of people is one thing, but how would you get rid of a ghost? Not like you can just write their name down."

Light crossed his arms in thought. "You said yourself that such a being probably wouldn't be able to exist for long. Maybe I won't have to do anything besides wait."

"Maybe," Ryuk laughed. "You know as much as I do about that type of thing. But either way, let me know how it goes. This sounds like it could be pretty interesting."

"Fine, but don't risk coming into my room anymore at night."

"Why not?"

"If he is a ghost, then who knows if the same rules apply to him. For all we know, he might be able to see any _shinigami_."

"But what's it matter if he see's me? Not like I can see him or anything."

"Exactly. Why bother if you can't even see or hear him?"

"Alright, alright. I guess it'd get boring, getting to hear only half the conversation. I'll leave you alone. Just let me know how what happens."

He'd rather not have the Ryuk watching him, now that L knew for certain who Light really was. If he was going to get any information from L, he had a feeling it would be easier if L didn't think he was being watched by a _shinigami _all the time.

But for now, Light pushed all those thoughts aside. He'd slept in later than usual, and his father and the rest of the team would be arriving soon, and so he'd have to get ready.

Every day, Light would play his role as L's successor, and every day he would be forced to remember him. There was no escaping that. But now, it seemed, he was going to be haunted by more than just L's memory.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter should be up pretty soon. I'm also going to post it on AO3 if you prefer to read it there.


	5. Liberation

Chapter 5: Liberation

"_You belong to a singular race. Every man is a suffering-machine and a happiness-machine combined." _

—_The Mysterious Stranger_

Light refrained from asking L about his name the next night he appeared, several days later, figuring it would only make L more hesitant to reveal it. Not that he was given much opportunity to ask; Light had hardly woken before L began berating him with questions. Light knew one thing for certain: he wasn't going to get a good night's sleep that evening.

"So," L began, sitting in his usual position on the chair. "Can the _shinigami_ see me?"

It was just after two o'clock, and Light was still lying in bed. If he could just sleep a little longer... But it was no use, L had already noticed he was awake.

L probably thought the blunt question would get some sort of reaction out of Light, but for once, Light wasn't shocked by his question. L, after all, had mentioned the _shinigami_ the previous time, seeming suspicious about it. He already knew that there was more than one_ shinigami _in the human world. And if Light was Kira again, then that would mean it was probably close by—would be L's line of thinking. But like anything else now, it wouldn't matter if he knew about Ryuk or not anymore. L no longer had any power in this world. He couldn't do anything to him. If he could, Light wouldn't be where he was right now, and neither would L.

Light took his time in answering, however. He yawned, and sat up slowly, as if he hadn't even noticed L, before finally looking over to him. L was watching him, his eyes wide and deceptively vacant, though Light thought he could read a hint of curiosity in them.

"I suppose there's no point in denying it," Light finally responded. "I already revealed to you that Rem was Misa's _shinigami _originally. There is, of course, another _shinigami__._ The one who dropped the first death note. He was here the last time you were—though I've asked him from now on not to disturb my room at night," Light explained to him. "And to answer your question, no, he couldn't see you."

L brought a hand up to his face, rubbing his bottom lip in thought with his thumb. "I had wondered that. _Shinigami_ do have some limitations then, don't they? Maybe their eyes only have use for the living, and not the dead. Or perhaps..." he removed his hand from his mouth, but didn't drop it completely, "if I can only appear to you, and no one else, then it is only _you_ that can see me." He said this last part slower, as if the thought had just occurred to him. "Maybe ghosts can only show themselves to the ones they haunt."

Light considered his words for a moment. "That makes it sound just as likely that you're only part of my mind."

"Hm. I suppose. Whichever is easier for you to believe," L said.

"They're both quite hard to believe, honestly."

"I'll agree with you on that point." L's lips curved up in slight amusement.

L... could he really only be imagining him right now? It would have been the most logical way to explain it, if Light had never before encountered beings like the _shinigami_. But since he knew that such creatures did exist, Light was hesitant to believe that L was only in his head. Ghosts and _shinigami,_ both appeared to be a part of the natural world. And once their reality became apparent, it became a way to logically explain his circumstances, even though belief in the supernatural was often equated with people who held only irrational beliefs. Light had always been a logical person, and logically, when a _shinigami_ gave you its notebook, then _shinigami _were no longer just a part of fiction. When a ghost visited you at night, then ghosts were no longer only a part of children's stories. In such cases, to deny the truth of the supernatural would itself be irrational. The only problem in the last case was that he didn't have concrete evidence of L's existence, like he did with the death note and the _shinigami_.

"I'm curious about something," L said, breaking the silence that had formed while Light considered these things. "How exactly did you come to posses the original death note?"

Light smirked. "I was wondering when you'd ask that." He couldn't deny that he enjoyed this, being able to tell L about such things without any consequences. No more would he need to hide behind the words '_If I were Kira._..' in order to say what his true thoughts were. He leaned back against the headboard of the bed, crossing his arms in the process, and then closed his eyes. "It was on a day like any other. I was bored in class, when I happened to see something fall past the window." Light opened his eyes, staring ahead. He could feel L's gaze on him. "A black notebook."

"You saw it as it fell?" L returned his thumb to his mouth, interested.

Light nodded. "When I went to look after class, there it was, lying on the ground. No one besides me had noticed it. It could have been anyone else. But it was me."

"...Quite unfortunate for you."

"Unfortunate for you, perhaps," Light returned the words, but then shook his head. "No. You're glad I found it, too. Even if it was the death of you."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because it gave you something interesting to do. You'd never had a case like it before, and never would again—even if you had lived." L hadn't cared about the criminals being murdered, not really. He could say he had a sense of justice, but what he really enjoyed was solving puzzles. And Light had given him one unlike any other he would ever come across. _Who was Kira, and how did he kill? _Finding the answer to this was what had really interested L, and stopping Kira had only been a bonus; not the primary motivator.

"Anything else would have been boring in comparison, is what you're saying." L hummed in thought. "Tell me, Light, is it the same for you, now?"

Light lifted his head, turning to look at at L. "What do you mean?"

"It must be so easy to accomplish what you want with me gone. But don't games become boring when they're so simple that you know you'll win?"

"Do you really think I would do all this—kill all those people—for a game?"

"I don't know. Would you?" Black eyes peered at him, as if they'd already decided what the answer was. A surge of anger went through Light at the implication of L's words, but he did his best to hide his irritation. If he reacted harshly to L, it would only serve to imply that there was some truth to his accusation. Which there wasn't.

"Of course not. Don't bother asking me something so foolish." He was nowhere near as low as L was. L's actions were selfish, while Light only acted to protect himself, and was otherwise selfless in his actions. Kira existed for the betterment of humanity. L existed only for himself.

L scrutinized him a moment longer, before turning his gaze away. "What about your memories? Were you only pretending to have no memory of being Kira?"

"No, I wasn't lying then. I really did forget everything," Light admitted. "That's one of the conditions when using the death note: if the person who uses it gives up or loses ownership of it, all memories related to the death note are lost with it. I just used that knowledge to my advantage."

"...Then I was right to think that was the case. So while you were in confinement, and afterward..." L trailed off, thinking in silence.

"It worked pretty well, didn't it?" A smug smile tugged at Light's lips.

"Yes, it was a good plan. Working with me to capture a false Kira, while proving your innocence at the same time. And naturally, once we found Kira, we would discover the death note and the false 13 day rule," L said. "And as for your memories, at some point you must have somehow..." L suddenly jerked his head up, eyes wide in realization "—the helicopter!"

L had made the connection without Light even having to say it. Light hadn't been surprised by the _shinigami _on the night of Higuchi's capture. He had been surprised by his own self; by the truth of who he really was.

"...Was when I regained my memories," Light finished L's unsaid words.

L's shoulders slouched, and his mouth turned slightly downwards. "I let you get a hold of it."

"There was no way you could have known."

"I should have suspected something."

"It's too late to worry over it now."

"Even so..." he said, not far off from using a sulking voice.

"Don't mope, L. It doesn't suit you."

"I'm dead. It should be my right."

Which might have been true, but Light really wasn't in the mood for this right now. "Fine, mope all you want then. I'm sure it will help your situation."

L didn't answer him, and soon a heavy silence filled the room. Several minutes seemed to pass, before Light decided it had been long enough. He lied down on his bed and turned so he was on his side, facing away from L_—_who was currently staring glumly at nowhere in particular_—_and then closed his eyes.

"What are you doing?" He heard L ask.

"Going to sleep."

That seemed to get L's attention. "Please don't. I'd like to ask you some more questions if that's alright."

"...Depends on what they are."

L's mood seemed to lighten, even though Light hadn't exactly given him a positive answer. "There is one other thing I've been wondering about. How did you manage to kill criminals while you were being monitored?"

Light turned to his other side, so he was facing L again. He didn't really think this was going to put L in a better mood, but he humored him anyway. "Heh, I'm rather proud of that one," he said, propping his head up with one arm. "Ryuk—the _shinigami—_told me where all the cameras were. Knowing that, I bought a miniature TV. One small enough to fit in the palm of a hand. Or a bag of chips..."

L's eyes widened in realization. But instead of acting disgruntled about it, like Light had expected, an amused smile broke across his face. "What a great trick," he remarked. "Rather risky of you, too. I doubt even I would have attempted that," he added, then furrowed his brow. "I knew I should have installed more cameras..."

"64 cameras was enough, if you ask me."

"I'm not so certain now..."

It continued like this for awhile longer—L would inquire about some thing or another; trying to fit the last stray pieces together. Just like he would have wanted to do if he were still alive. Was that all he wanted, then? He didn't really seem to care about making Light suffer, or didn't appear to, anyway—so was that what kept him here? The will to finish finding the truth about everything and complete the puzzle had started?

Light suppressed a yawn. No matter what L's reason for being here was, all these questions were starting to tire him out. He was about to say so when L brought up something that was of interest to him.

"Light, I have thought of something I could tell you that might prove my existence to you."

Light perked his head up. "What is it?"

"It's related to a previous case I worked on, not long before I started investigating the Kira murders," L continued, moving his toes absently while he spoke. "Have you heard of the Los Angeles BB Murders?"

Light thought it sounded familiar. "I think so. They occurred a few years ago, if I remember right."

L gave a short nod. "You should also remember the murderer. You wrote his name not too long after you began killing criminals. His name was Beyond Birthday."

"I've written lots of names, L. But I think I do recall writing that one. What does it have to do with you?"

"I worked with an agent who was in LA at the time, who helped me solve that case. If I tell you her name, and it's correct, that should prove to you that I exist."

So this was what L had chosen to reveal to him? It seemed like an odd choice, out of anything that he could have told him. Still, it might just work, however anticlimactic it was. Light could have the information in no time at all off the internet. "Alright. What's her name, then?"

"Naomi Misora."

Light became silent.

What was the real reason L had told him this? If he was bringing up her name, then he must have made the connection between Kira and her disappearance. But why take such a roundabout way to affirm if Light knew her? Why not just ask, 'Do you know what happened to Naomi Misora?' or 'Did you kill Penber's fiancée?'"

And if Misora really had worked with L on the BB Murder case, then it still wouldn't have proved anything about L's existence. It had been rather popular in the media at the time, so there was a chance that Light had already heard her name and just not consciously made the connection until now.

"That normally might have worked, L, but... I knew Naomi."

"Knew her? How?"

"I killed her. But you already assumed that, didn't you?"

"There was a small possibility that you hadn't," L responded. "But yes, there was a 97 percent chance you were connected to her disappearance."

"Why not just say it, then?"

"As far as I knew, Misora had only disappeared; no body had been found. And even though I was fairly certain Kira was related somehow, part of me wished that it hadn't been the case. Part of me had hoped..."

"Well now you have your answer."

"You said you knew her? You were acquainted before her death?"

"Briefly," Light said. "I happened to come across her at the reception desk at the NPA building. She said she had something she wanted to tell the task force directly, which caught my attention. I quickly realized that she knew too much, and so I had to dispose of her."

"But how? What information did she have about you?"

Light briefly explained to him the details about how he was able to get the information on the FBI agents from Penber, and told him how Misora had come to suspect that Penber had met Kira during the bus hijacking, and how she had correctly deduced that Kira could kill by means other than heart attacks.

"That's not surprising," L said. "Misora was very brilliant. To think she came that close to finding you..."

"I did have some trouble, at first," Light admitted. "She was smart enough not to give a stranger her real name. But I won her trust in the end."

"How did you manage that? The Misora I knew was a very cautious person."

"She was, that's for certain, but when I told her I was part of the task force working with L, she believed me. She said that the only one she really trusted was L, and that—" Light stopped, remembering the exact words Misora had used "—she said that I reminded her of you," he finished. "When I asked her if she wanted to join the task force, she took the bait and revealed her true name."

L hadn't said anything yet, so Light continued. "I figured suicide would be a fitting death for her." A grin broke across his face. He could still remember it like yesterday. It had been a close call for Light, but Misora's elimination had been quite easy, in the end. "You should have seen the look on her face in that final moment, when I told her I was Kira."

Light was startled by the sudden sound of the chair falling on its side as L stumbled off of it. He braced himself for some sort of attack, but L just stood there, fists clenched at his sides. Light had been so caught up in his story that he had forgotten just who he was talking to, and hadn't realized until then how much his story had affected L, how obviously it had upset him.

"I had to kill her, L." _Just as I had to kill you._

"I know that well, Light. But never more than right now have I felt the urge to punch you." L wasn't looking at him, but Light could see the effort he was making to restrain himself.

"She was the one who chose to investigate Kira. She revealed her name, and that was her mistake. I had to protect myself." True, Light had killed Penber first, but she should have taken that as a warning not to pursue Kira. She deserved what she got.

"That may be. But I can't forgive you for what you did to Misora."

"Am I asking for your forgiveness? I don't want it, L, so don't bother trying to use that against me."

"I..." L trailed off. Light noticed that his hands were shaking.

Slowly, Light got up from his bed, and took a few steps forward until he was standing in front of L, watching him closely all the while.

The detective looked just as real as he ever had when he was alive. His dark, sleepless eyes, and pale, slouching form remained as unchanged as the first day they had met. As if he had never been buried, his heart had never stopped, and his name had never been written in the death note. As if he really were here, right now; solid flesh and blood. As if Light could touch him, if he only stretched his arm out.

Light took a step closer, studying L. L's eyes were dark, cautioning him, but there was an unease in them, too.

"Then do it," Light said. "Hit me."

L held his gaze, but remained where he was, hands at his sides.

"Come on, do it, if that's what you want," Light pressed on. If L had been able to knock down a large chair, then couldn't he harm Light, too, if he wanted?

When L still didn't move, Light slowly lifted his arm, raising it up to L's face, but his hand hesitated a few inches away from it. What would happen, if he touched him? He had wanted to know since the first night L appeared, but something had prevented him from doing it previously. But right now...

Light moved his hand closer. Suddenly, L took a step back, watching Light for a final moment, before turning away from him, so his back was towards Light.

Light simply stared, not expecting such a response from him. L's head was lowered, and his shoulders were slouched. He looked frail somehow, weaker than Light had remembered him. Light lowered his arm, not sure what to think. He was about to say something, or move closer again, when L spoke, his back still facing towards him.

"L Lawliet."

"...What?" The words were strange, sounding foreign to his ears.

"That is my name. Goodbye, Light."

It took a moment for Light to register the words completely. "...W-wait!"

But L had moved towards the shadows, and was gone.

Just like that. Gone.

Light stared dumbfounded. He walked to the other end of the room, where L had headed to just moments before, but saw no sign of him. He switched a lamp on; momentarily blinded by its brightness, and briefly searched the room, but L was nowhere to be found. The room was eerily silent.

He returned to his bed and sat down on the edge of it, still in shock from L's sudden disappearance. "L Lawliet..." He said the name slowly, staring at the fallen chair in front of him. "So that was your name...?"


	6. Apolune

Chapter 6: Apolune

"_And when it was all over I said to myself, _  
_i__s that all there is to a fire?"_

— _Is That All There Is?_

L didn't appear the next week. Or the next. Or the next. A month passed, and then another.

Six months went by, and still no sign of L.

Light had finally accepted that L was probably gone for good this time. He still wondered what exactly had triggered his disappearance—was it because he had revealed his name, or because of something else they had discussed? Or had he simply remained too long in this world, and finally gone to the place where everyone goes once they die?

Then there was the possible explanation that it had been Light dreaming it the whole time. Perhaps he had only been stressed, and that stress had produced several sleepwalking episodes which he had finally recovered from.

This option would seem to make the most sense, and had he not already had encounters with the supernatural, he would have been more inclined to accept this as the reason for L's appearances. But even if he hadn't, perhaps parasomnia _wasn't_ the simplest explanation for what had happened. For one, his memory remained clear, when sleepwalkers would normally have no memory of the episodes. Two, Ryuk had understood his speech the night he'd watched him, when the speech of a sleepwalker was often slurred and nonsensical. He'd had no previous history of sleepwalking, either. So if it had been due to that, then it was a very unusual case. On the surface this explanation appeared logical, but upon closer inspection it was far from being the simplest answer. But if it wasn't just due to his imagination, then there weren't many other options to choose from.

It had even entered Light's mind that L might have faked his death—which was admittedly a paranoid thought at best, but one he had to at least consider if he were to cover all possible explanations. But it didn't take much scrutiny for him to dismiss this as an option as well.

There was no reason for L to fake his death, only to haunt him for a few nights, and then disappear without doing anything else. If L had only wanted to get enough information to incriminate Light, then he could have gotten it anytime after his death, even without having to pose as a ghost—and he would have still have been able to get plenty of evidence to expose Light as Kira once and for all. But that had never happened. It had been six months, and Light and Misa were still free, and criminals were still being punished. Nothing had changed. L would never have allowed that had he been alive.

And all of this wasn't even considering the fact that Rem was dead. From the moment Light had switched the death notes, he had known that his plan would one day lead to L's demise. After Higuchi's capture, L had sought to test the 13 day rule, but no matter what he could have thought of, Rem would have discovered his plans and stopped him before Misa or Light could be put under suspicion once again. Rem had been the key to it all, and her loyalty to Misa had sealed L's fate. Put these facts together, and it was out of the question that L would still be alive, and so Light didn't pursue that route any further. It had only lead to a dead end.

The best explanation still was that after L's death, some part of the detective had remained in this world for a time, and then returned finally to nothingness. It was the explanation that fit the best, and explained all the phenomena most simply, however unlikely it might seem that ghosts could exist in this world. Light had learned that sometimes, it was the supernatural explanation that had to be chosen over the logical one. He just wished he could have found more evidence of it before L had left. He had thought of setting an alarm at night to find out for certain if he was really awake at the time of L's appearances, and had also been thinking of some way to determine if other humans could see L, if a _shinigami_ couldn't. But of course, L had left before Light could try anything of the sort, let alone get any worthwhile information out of the detective.

What Light _had_ found was that L had seemed to retain all of his memories clearly, unlike some stories about ghosts which described them as not even being aware that they were really dead. L had definitely known who he was, and hadn't lost any amount of the intelligence he'd possessed when he was alive.

He had also seemed to be linked to Light somehow. According to L, he had appeared twice around Light—once at the old headquarters and once at his grave—before the first night Light had noticed him, and all successive times he had appeared close to where Light was as well, as if L were confined within a certain radius of where he was. His later appearances had also been quite regular, always after two o'clock in the morning, and never at any other time.*

Light had also, to his dismay, discovered that L could affect the physical world—at least when in an emotionally provoked state. This didn't seem too far off from what some descriptions were of a poltergeist's behavior, and L's ability to move physical objects had been a reminder to Light that he could never to be too careful with L, even when dead. This had resulted in Light being extra cautious with the safety of the death notes, and afterward he had always made sure they were well hidden, even going so far as to have Misa store Rem's notebook away from Light, to ensure that he retained his memories in case something were to happen to the other notebooks. He was sure that if L's ghost were able to try something, it would be related to the death notes. But, of course, nothing ever happened to the notebooks. L had gone.

It was late morning as Light stood by a window, mulling over all these thoughts. He had the apartment to himself that day—his father and the task force were gone until tomorrow, and Misa was currently playing the star role in some movie being filmed.

The window was open and Light shivered as a cool gust hit him. It had been a clear morning, but dark clouds had since moved in. The wind had picked up, and carried with it the scent of the storm to come. He always felt a strange excitement with approaching thunderstorms, to be able to witness the sky, normally so quiet and uninteresting, unleash the potential of its power.

It didn't take long for the rain to begin, the wind pelting large drops of it through the window. Light watched indifferently as they landed inside—his mind currently transfixed by something other than the rain. He decided then, like the sudden impulse of the weather, what he would do that day.

* * *

Light walked alone through the vast assembly of stones marking the departed, seeking one stone in particular. Dark clouds still loomed above, though the rain had stopped some time before.

He soon reached the grave, and stopped before it. The cemetery was scarce of other people, and Light had the surrounding area to himself. His hands were empty; he had brought no flowers to replace the withered ones that remained from the funeral, sitting brown and slumped in a vase. Light didn't pay attention to the flowers, however—looking instead at the nameless gravestone before him. As he stared at it, he imagined what the letters might have looked like had there been a name inscribed upon it.

"L Lawliet," Light said, speaking L's name as he had heard it on that night, though he did not know the spelling. The cemetery was quiet, and not even a breeze stirred the branches of the trees around him.

"I admit," he went on, knowing that a response wouldn't come, "I did enjoy your visits, though you were a pain as usual and also caused me to question my sanity."

Even though L hadn't been able to stop Light, he had gotten to know the truth about Kira in the end. Light had been able to reveal it himself.

It was over for L, but now Light could finally get what he wanted. With his victory, a new world was on its way, and though there was still a long way to go, already the world was much improved from what it had been before Light had found the death note.

But even if everything went as planned, there was always a thought in the back of Light's mind that he could never be rid of; Light was mortal, just as L had been. Human lives were short at best, and a century was all he'd get if he were lucky. And no matter how long he'd live, it wouldn't be long enough to satisfy what he'd truly like to have. If only he had the ability to lengthen his lifespan, like the _shinigami_ could do. He would be willing to trade his soul for a power like that, but not even souls existed, as far as he knew. L's ghost had been a transient aberration, and nothing more.

If he died—and he would die, eventually—would he remain in the world for a time like L had, a mere shadow of what he was, before disappearing for good?

L had died with no one in the world knowing who he really was, aside from a handful of people. Would it be the same for Light? When Kira died, no one would know his name or identity, aside from Misa and the select few he might let know. Anonymity was part of what gave strength to Kira's power, after all, and even if the world came to accept him in general, it would always be too dangerous to reveal who he really was to the world. L had always concealed his true identity from others, and for different circumstances, Light was forced to do the same.

"We really were alike, in some ways."

But no matter what the final outcome of his life was, his actions would affect the world for ages to come. And by that time, perhaps he could find a suitable successor to perform Kira's work, though the idea of entrusting someone else with the death note seemed repulsive to him. Like it or not, it might be the only way to continue what he had begun. Light still had a lot of years left before he would have to consider an idea like that, however. He wouldn't need to worry about such things quite yet.

"L, I guess this is goodbye. I won't be coming back here again. And I don't think you will be, either."

Silence answered him again. The storm from earlier had finally moved out, and the sun had returned, unblocked by clouds. A breeze had picked up, sending the trees into quiet conversation. Suddenly, Light felt a presence behind him, and he turned to see what it was.

"Ryuk." For a second, he had thought it was... but of course it wouldn't have been.

"Decided to follow ya for a bit," the _shinigami_ explained. "Could use the fresh air, plus it gets boring having to follow Misa to all those film sets and photoshoots all the time."

Light turned back to L's grave, studying it once more.

"He's gone for good, now, Ryuk."

"You're sure?"

"It's been 6 months. Ghost or imagination, I think he's finally left."

"That's too bad, huh?"

Light didn't answer, keeping his gaze on the stone.

He remained at the grave a short while longer, then headed back to his apartment.

Some things Light could never change—not with the death note or anything else. He couldn't avoid death. Even _shinigami_ could die, if they weren't careful. But even if the world would never know who Light Yagami was, they would remember Kira's name. His actions wouldn't be forgotten. And that was all that would really matter, in the end.

* * *

A/N: Sorry... short chapter is short. The next one will make up for it.

*Forgot to mention this before, but the reason I chose 2 a.m. in particular was because in Japan that is considered the hour when ghosts and other _obake_ are most likely to appear.


	7. Danse Macabre

Chapter 7: Danse Macabre

"_The sun is getting dim_  
_Will we pay for who we've been?"_

– _Happy Phantom_

Light awoke sometime in the night, thirsty and cold, though he had plenty of covers over him. He coughed, and reached for the glass of water by his bed, but stopped his arm in midair when he noticed a figure standing next to it.

_What did Ryuk want now?_ thought Light, slightly irritated at being disturbed at such an hour. Misa had just bought a new supply of apples earlier that day, and Light certainly wasn't in a state to get any more for him if that were the case. He had fallen sick two days ago and been confined in his room for most of that time by the insistence of the rest of the task force. They had convinced him to take a break from the investigation, reasoning that it was currently more or less at a standstill anyway, and it would be better for him to get some rest. Sicknesses were quite unusual for him, and it served as an unwanted reminder to Light that not even his immune system was perfect. And so here he was, sick in bed, and awake at some ungodly hour in the morning.

But as Light's blurred vision focused, he saw that it wasn't Ryuk at all that was standing near him. And it wasn't Misa either. Feeling a sudden wave of apprehension, Light tore his gaze away long enough to look at the clock on the end-table. _It couldn't possibly be, __but__..._ As he feared, the bright digital letters proclaimed only one time.

Light turned back, seeing the figure before him in full lucidity now. It was someone he hadn't seen for quite a long time, indeed.

It had to be tonight, of all nights, that L returned.

L, instead of sitting in his usual position, was standing next to the bed, peering down at Light curiously with a finger raised to his mouth, watching him in silence.

Light's voice, when he found it, was an uncertain note in the silent room. "...L?"

"You don't look too good, Light."

"I..." Light began, not sure how to react to L's sudden reappearance. "I thought you'd left for good this time."

"Really?" L's head raised a little, dropping his hand away from his mouth. "How long has it been since I was last here?"

"It's been almost a year, now."

"I've been gone for that long? Strange..." L went quiet in thought. "What day is it, exactly?"

It took a moment for Light to be able to answer, his mind rendered slow from fever and tiredness, and his conception of time muddled by them. "October 31st." He sat up, ignoring how chilled he felt, and held back the urge to cough, which wasn't an easy feat since the desire was almost constant. He was sick, that was true, but that didn't mean he had to let himself appear that way if he could help it. Especially in front of L.

"Ah. Then perhaps that's why," L said, as if the answer could explain it all.

Light frowned doubtfully. _W__hat was why?_ There was nothing important about today that he could think of. But then the full meaning of the date sunk in.

_O__h, right__. _There was that Western holiday. "You think this has something to do with Halloween?"

"That might be part of it," L said. "I do feel oddly aware right now. Like it's easier to be here."

Halloween... The holiday was popular in many countries, and was becoming so even in Japan. But something about that explanation seemed off to Light. Even if it was often associated with spirits and the dead, Halloween was just another holiday, after all, wasn't it? "You're here, that's for sure," Light said. "But Halloween is just a day like any other. That shouldn't be any reason for your being here. Why would—"

"But Light," L interrupted him. "I'm not finished."

Light stopped mid-sentence, not used to being cut off by others. "What is it, then?"

"Today is also my birthday."

Light's eyes widened. "Your birthday?"

"Yes. So that could also be the reason."

Not only that, Light realized, but in less than a week, it would be the anniversary of L's death. Could that play a part in L's return? But no matter what the reason, L was really back again... His disappearance hadn't been permanent, after all. Light shivered, and a sudden coughing fit overtook him, despite his best efforts to retain it. It took a few moments before he was finally able to recover from it.

"Are you alright?" L asked, watching him curiously.

Light straitened, wanting to laugh at L's apparent show of concern for him. He reached for the glass of water again, getting a hold of it this time. And despite his sickness, now that he had woken up a bit he felt a little better, his fever more or less tolerable. "I'm fine." He took a sip, and set the glass back, then took a moment to gather his thoughts. The room was quiet for awhile.

"Why haven't you tried to do anything to me?" Light asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play stupid," Light said. "I'm Kira. You spent all your time when you were alive trying to stop me, so why not now? Why haven't you tried to destroy the death notes, or harm me in some way?"

"Oh, that..." L said. "I assumed you already knew." He turned, and moved to the chair, before sitting in the manner that was normal to him. "The reason why I haven't done anything to you is simple. I can't."

Light studied L. "But why not?" he asked. "It's obvious from the last time that you can affect physical objects if you really want to."

L lowered his gaze, eyes focusing on the hands clasped over his knees. "You think that because of that, I still have the power to truly affect this world? Knocking over a chair is one thing, but if I actually tried to do something like burn the death notes or leave a message for the task force to see, then I would be prevented from doing so." His eyes looked up, meeting Light's. "Believe me, I've already tried."

Light wasn't too surprised to hear it, of course.

"It's not even that I can't do it, it's that I _know_ I can't," L said, hesitating. "It's a strange feeling to describe, but I feel its weight on me at all times." L's eyes were still lowered, his face appearing calm now with some sort of acceptance. "My time in this world is finished, no matter what part of me tries to deny it and remain here. It's as futile as trying to go back and change the past. In the same way, my life has ended, and I can no longer change the future after it. I can look into it, perhaps, but I will no longer play any real part in it." He paused, and looked up at Light. "That is why I can't do anything to you, Light. That is what being a ghost really is."

"I see..." Light said, somewhat taken aback by L's apparent sincerity. "I believe you. It's what I figured, actually. You obviously would have done something by now if you were able to."

L nodded once, slightly. "I don't even seem to have the power to leave the area where you're at. I'm stuck here. When I left the last time, I don't remember what happened afterward. I was leaving, and then it was simply darkness. Nothing else, until now."

"But why are you telling me all this? You could have easily pretended that you could harm me and tried to make me get rid of the death notes or do something similar. Right?"

L looked hesitant. "Yes, I probably could have. But I don't feel like playing games anymore. That feels pointless now. Besides, you would have realized soon enough that I couldn't really do anything to you."

"I suppose," Light answered after just managing to suppress another cough. The silence returned, but Light didn't notice, his thoughts occupied by other things.

"Light, could I ask you a favor?" L asked after awhile.

"What?"

"I know you're not feeling well, but since I'm here on my birthday, do you happen to have anything sweet to eat?"

Light's response was only sensible. "Ghosts can't eat." Or could they? L sure could do a lot, it seemed, for being dead.

"I know. But even to see a piece of cake once more, or a small sweet..."

Light sighed. Such a request was somehow fitting, coming from him. "You're hopeless, L," he said. "...But you might also be in luck. I think Misa might have some cake left around here somewhere."

L's expression didn't change, but even so Light could tell that he was pleased by the answer. "That would more than suffice. Thank you."

Light hesitantly got up. Why was he doing this? L didn't deserve it, that was for sure. But Light had already offered, and so he couldn't really take it back now. "Heh, who knows," Light said, suppressing a shiver as he stood. "Maybe this is the only thing that's keeping you from your final rest."

L hummed in response. "Still trying to get rid of me? What a terrible friend you are."

Light stopped where he was, and then shrugged his shoulders indifferently and began walking to the other side of the room, passing L in the process. "Well, you should have picked better friends."

"I didn't have many options to choose from."

Light didn't comment further. He reached the door, grabbing onto the handle with his hand, and then looked back, noticing L still hadn't moved from his spot. "Come on."

L finally stood, and made his way over to Light. Light exited the room, and L followed in suit.

They were passing through the living room when L stopped in his tracks. "Strange..." he said. "Why is a video game playing by itself?"

Light stopped, turning his head to see what L was talking about.

"Hey Light, what are you doing up?" Ryuk inquired at nearly the same time as L had.

"Just getting a snack. I can't sleep." Light answered the _shinigami_. So apparently L couldn't see Ryuk_, _even in his ghostly state.

"Oh," Ryuk said, "Well if you're bored you're welcome to join me." He motioned to the television screen with the game controller still in his hand.

"And the controller is moving on its own," L remarked, his eyes wide in false seriousness. "I think you have a ghost problem, Light."

"I'll pass." Light told Ryuk, ignoring L's comments.

Ryuk shrugged. "Suit yourself." He turned back to the game. "Human's sure have some great inventions, but this has gotta be the best out of all of them."

They left Ryuk behind, and entered the kitchen.

"That _shinigami_ must be very different from the other one," L said, making a rather accurate conjecture.

Light opened the refrigerator. "That's an understatement," he answered L, now that Ryuk was out of earshot.

Light spotted the cake, a white cake with strawberries layered between and garnished on top, and took it out. Some fan or coworker had given it to Misa as a gift, but since she liked to avoid sweets, it had remained untouched. L watched silently, but interestedly, as Light removed it from its container and set it on a plate, and was even considerate enough to get a fork to set beside it.

They left the kitchen soon after. Ryuk didn't turn away from the game, but if he had he might have been surprised by Light's choice in snack, as Light would normally never eat anything so sweet. Once they reached the bedroom, Light shut the door behind them, and noticed that L looked speculative about something.

"I was wondering, Light," L said as they walked over to the other side of the room. "Why don't you share a room with Misa?"

Light gave him a strange look. L certainly knew why. Anyone who knew Misa should know why. "I enjoy my privacy." Was all Light said, however.

"I see," L said, but instead of ending it there, he pursued the topic further. "Have you ever been interested in relationships?"

"I've dated before. You know that."

"But have you ever been interested in them?"

"L, I have much better things to concern myself with than trivial things like girlfriends."

"Even if you weren't Kira?"

So that's what this was about. "I suppose not, even then. Why do you care?" It wasn't even Misa, per se. Light didn't form real relationships with women, or anyone. That's just the way it had always been for him.

"I just find it interesting that you feel that way," L said. "For most other people that is a big concern about their life."

"You should know by now that I am not most people."

"You're right. That should go without saying," L said, a small smile tugging at his lips.

What was with that look? Light ignored it and set the plate on the end table, turning the lamp on beside it, and then sat down on the side of the bed. L followed behind, walking past the chair he usually sat in and stopping in front of the cake.

"Well?"

L looked at the cake, but didn't move to touch it. "It looks delicious."

Silence.

"Go on, then."

A moment passed, then L stepped uncertainly closer. He eyed the cake a moment longer, and then lowered his head until his face was only a few inches from it, and breathed in—or made the action of breathing in, since he couldn't actually breathe in his state, could he? He then frowned, and raised his head, straightening into his normal slouch.

"It's no use," he said, and moved away with some reluctance to sit on the chair.

Light didn't think he'd ever seen him look more disappointed. "You're going to give up that easily?"

L looked back to the cake. "It's just... that feeling. I know I can't do it, even without trying. But thank you, anyway."

The sweet scent of the cake suddenly drifted towards Light and made him feel a bit nauseous, even with his deteriorated sense of smell. He quickly forced all thoughts of food out of his mind, or he knew the feeling would just become worse. "How old would you be today?"

L's eyes dragged away from the cake and met Light's. "26."

"Ah. Well... happy birthday." He coughed twice, uncontrollably, only managing to cover his mouth by the second cough. Not that it mattered too much at the moment.

L's expression turned to mild disgust. "Even if I could, there's no way I would eat the cake now. I might get sick."

Light didn't laugh. "If you're going to continue haunting me, then do it another night. I'm really not in the mood for this right now."

L frowned, turning his attention now on Light. "I didn't choose to be here. There are other places I would rather be," he answered, and then shifted around uncomfortably, as if he wasn't sure whether to continue or not. "Do you think I enjoy this? Being here, but not being able to do anything?"

Light closed his eyes, rubbing at his temple with one hand. He felt a headache coming on, or maybe it was something else. Something had shifted between them. It seemed to happen in an instant, but perhaps it had been there all along, lying safely beneath appearances. "Then it looks like neither of us will get our way."

"Maybe. But I'm glad I could celebrate my birthday with you, Light."

Light opened his eyes and looked at L, but didn't say anything.

"Light, about last time..."

"Don't," Light said. "I don't care about that right now."

But L continued, anyway. "I can never forgive you for Misora's death or the deaths of any others that you've caused. Only they could do that, and they're dead."

"I don't want to hear this, L. You know I couldn't care less."

But L was unfazed by his protests. "I can imagine well what Misora saw as she looked in your eyes that last second. I know because I saw those eyes myself," he went on, face composed, something strangely compelling in his voice. "I was dying, and I knew that you had caused it. But despite everything, when I saw that face, I forgave you."

Something froze inside Light.

L had... But why?

Why was L doing this? He had been acting so strange; joking and pretending to be nice to him. Saying he'd forgiven him. There was no cause for it, especially considering how things had ended the previous time. But there had to have been some motivation for his actions, some reason for him to be saying this.

Unless L thought he could...

"L, I know what you're doing."

"...You do?"

Light's expression was calm, but there was something underlying it that would have made carefuller persons squirm under it or look away. L had always been unaffected by such things. "You can say whatever you want," Light said, "but I don't feel guilty about causing your death."

"I know that. Why would you?"

"So stop trying to make me feel that way. It won't work."

"I'm not trying to do that. I know Kira wouldn't feel guilty about such things."

"But _Light Yagami _would?"

"No," L answered. "Well, yes, perhaps, if you didn't have your memories of being Kira. But that's not why I said that."

"Then why?"

L stood up suddenly, and went over to the window. "I don't know. To try to make amends with you, instead of fighting. I am stuck here, after all. Maybe because even though I hadn't meant it when I said you were my first friend, I had wanted it to be true." He turned his head partly away from the window, one eye meeting Light's. "Or maybe I just like to lie."

The words were speculative; not really meant as a challenge. But even so, Light felt his irritation grow.

Now that he thought about it, the only thing that L had really tried to do was talk. Maybe he somehow thought he could change things that way, if he couldn't do it physically. All his efforts would be futile, though. If L couldn't change the world with his actions, then he certainly couldn't change it with his words either. He could talk all he wanted and try to make Light feel as guilty or angry or frustrated as he could, but it wouldn't change anything.

Light was Kira, and lie or not, whatever L was attempting to do, it was useless. Even on the small chance that L's words had been sincere, they would always be enemies. L knew as well as he did that it was too late for them to be anything but that. He would never agree with Light where it mattered most, so what was the point?

Light, despite the fatigue he felt from his sickness, got up from his bed once more. Perhaps the headache was making his temper shorter than usual, because he was finding his anger much harder to control at the moment.

"L... that's just stupid. What's the point of all this... trying to make amends, or trying to do anything? I killed you! You're _dead_! You're not even supposed to be here!"

L turned around, so he was facing Light. They were close now, no more than a few feet from each other. "You're right. But I am here, and so I'm going to make the most of it, if I can't do anything else."

"But I'm _Kira_! I don't need your lies or friendship or anything from you! You mean nothing to me! You were just an obstacle to be eliminated, and nothing more."

"I used to think like that too, once. But when I died, I realized—"

Light rushed forward, and pushed L back, grabbing a hold of his shirt and slamming him back on the wall next to the window. "Stop using that! I don't care what you realized, you can't change anything now! The dead can't do any—" He cut himself off, realizing what he had just done without thinking in his fevered anger. He stepped back, but didn't let go of L.

Because that was just it, wasn't it?

The dead cannot do anything. They can't hear, or think, or feel, or see, or speak. They can't do any of that anymore. So why could he? Why was L here, right now, and why could Light touch him? Out of all the things he had considered about L's presence, this is what bothered Light the most. The dead shouldn't be able to do anything. But here L was, defying that fact.

Light still had no answer as to why L was here. Perhaps there would never be a real explanation, just as the phenomenon of _shinigami_ would always remain out of human understanding. But even if that was so, he had to at least try to comprehend this.

"How can you be here, L?"

"I'm struggling with that question myself, Light."

Slowly, Light loosened his hold on L's shirt, but didn't take his hand away. A question suddenly entered his mind, one that he wasn't quite sure he wanted the answer to. But curiosity soon won over. Cautiously, Light relaxed his fist that held onto the fabric of L's shirt, and moved it away, but not far; pressing it instead over L's chest. Right above where his heart would be.

L watched him closely, but remained silent.

A few seconds slipped by, and then Light felt it. His arm tensed, but he didn't jerk it away. "Your heart still...?"

"It's only an echo, like anything else."

Light shook his head in disbelief. "I shouldn't be this surprised." He looked up from where his hand was. There was something different in L's eyes. Was it fear? But why would he be nervous about this?

"Light, I don't think this is a good idea."

Light's eyes narrowed a fraction. "Why not? I can see you, hear you," he took his hand away, pausing a brief second, and then brought it to L's face instead; cautiously, like examining if the glass of a window was really there. L's skin was cool, but not icy cold, as he had expected, "and even feel you."

There was something vaguely dangerous in Light's expression, rivaling the dark watchfulness in L's eyes. "If I can do all that," he continued, removing his hand again, only to rest it on L's neck, but carefully, as if in an innocent gesture. "can ghosts be killed, too?"

L didn't falter in his answer. "No, you can't get rid of me that way."

Light ignored L's response, and ignored the strange tone of disappointment he thought he heard in his voice. "Maybe that's what this is. I never got a chance to kill you myself."

L didn't answer right away, but when he did, it was almost curious. "Could you really kill another person this way?" Sure, Light had killed with pen and paper, but if it came down to it, could he kill this way? The way everyone else had to?

Light, ever slowly, curled his hand around L's neck. It was shaking, but just a little. "Sure. What's the difference between this and writing a name?" There wasn't any, really, besides the method. And the fact that one was definitely more efficient than the other.

L studied him closely, but Light chose not to read what was behind his expression. "You've been Kira for too long, Light."

Light brought his other hand up, determined now, and closed it around L's neck.

_What would be the harm in trying?_

But before Light could do anything further, he was lying on the floor. He had barely registered L's movements before he fell backward, and brought L down with him, holding tightly to his neck, but releasing his hold once he hit the floor. He felt a sharp pain in his shoulder, and winced.

L sat up, bringing a hand to his neck and rubbing it. "That hurt, I think."

Light quickly brought his arms up to L's shoulders, trying to push him off and regain control once more. He'd had no real intention to harm L before, and had done it more from curiosity than anything else, to see what L would do. Still, angry now, he struggled, but as he held onto L, he began to feel weak.

"You said you can't harm me, yet here you are..."

L looked tired, as if the effort to restrain him took much more out of him than it should. "I haven't harmed you. You did it to yourself. But Light, I really don't think the dead should be touched."

"Why do you care, anyway?" Light asked, spitting out his words as he struggled against L, frustrated and sick.

"Because it works both ways. I can't harm you, and you can't harm me. The universe will see to that. But there might be consequences." L noticed Light's hold weakening, and then quickly escaped from his grasp. He stood, but didn't move far.

It was overpowering, but Light's sudden weakness didn't feel like it was caused by his sickness or his fatigue. It felt different; unnatural, somehow.

"Light?" L asked, looking down at him. He crouched down beside him once more.

Light managed to look up, seeing L, but struggling to focus as he felt his consciousness begin to fade, his thoughts becoming unclear. L's expression was as blank as ever, so why did Light read concern in his eyes?

Why did he always find something where there should be nothing?

"Light? What's wrong?"

But Light felt too tired to answer. He hardly noticed the question. The darkness seemed much more inviting than anything else right now. There was something so familiar about it. Darkness, death, absence. That feeling... he understood it now. If he could just settle into it, and forget everything, then it would all be alright...

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the wait! Might edit this later, I was in a rush to get it done since it's been way too long since I updated this.

Six more chapters to go!


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